evena26的部落格

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昨天又完成不可能的任務，在時間緊迫之下，到別人的club完成了我c9的演講。雖然結果沒有預期中好，但又離我的目標更近了。下星期就要完成我最後的演講了c10，慘的是我才剛寫好草稿，該如何將稿子變出來…頭痛啊…尤其最近的氣氛真的是悶到一個不行，好像歡笑都被抽離一樣…應該是說好像笑的權利被剝奪了…也是…現在沒人笑得出來，有也是苦笑啊!

It's  their turn to pay 參考書籍___該他們付帳了吧!

Have you ever lend some money to somebody? Are you an ATM in their eyes? Have you ever been in an uncomfortable situation where a friend asked to borrow money from you? If your 'friend' thinks that you should loan them money otherwise you are not their friend. If you have two choices on that moment which one would you choose? First one is let somebody borrow money from you and the other one is you caught a cold. The questionnaire is completed by 800 interviewers, over than two-third of participants in survey rather has cold than lend money to friends. But if you have no choice today, what would you do? Actually I'll suggest you to start looking for new friends.

For example, “Hey, can you lend me 100 dollars until tomorrow, I'll pay you back, I promise”.Your friends seems always forgets to bring money outside. It's looks like just a small amount of money but the problem is they always forget to give money back to you. They liked to order expensive foods after you decided to go Dutch. They think it's fair and unnecessary give you extra money. To them that is fine to broken your stuff and don't make up for you, even though they sure the stuff is in good condition when they borrowed from you. While they have money, they didn’t clear a debt to you but bought luxury goods instead. If they have no money, what should they do? Yes, it's you .Instead to save money, they prefer borrow money from you. You lend money to somebody and somebody thinks that is a gift and no need to pay back. This problem is really common in our life. If you shy to reject, the problem will bigger and bigger. Care money is better than pretend unconcern money, especially to involve other’s money. Now it’s time to say "NO".   

Someone said "A friend not really close enough means you can borrow money from him, but you won’t lend money to him ". When friend want borrow some money from you, would you say yes or no? Don’t worry, there’re some useful tips for you. First one of all, you have to know how urgent and how much that they need money? Then, how close the relationship between you and your friend? Have they ever helped you before? After that, how much you care the purpose of the money they want to borrow? They borrow money for urgent or for fun? You don’t want them to robbing Peter to pay Paul. Next, is any possible that they return money to you? if they wouldn’t return the money to you. Is any influence of your life? Last but not least, do they have another way to solve the problem if no one gave them a hand? Maybe you can tell them to deal with a bank...  

Because morality, maybe you think that you have a duty to help your friends. But it doesn’t mean you have to lend them money every time. You absolutely can say “NO” such as follows situation. First, you have no money to lend. Second, the people want to borrow money from you because they like to waste money. Third, you don’t agree the purpose of money to use. The last one is, you don’t want your money to be a gift while you know they wouldn’t pay you back. But if you really want to lend money to your friend that you have in black and white. No one’s memory is perfect, borrower is the worst. When you want to lend something to someone, you have to sure that they know the value about the stuff. If the stuff is really important to you and you know y our friends are always careless and can’t afford to pay back. Please say "NO" unless you'd prepare that stuff to be a gift.

People come to you , they beg and promised many things but after the money is given , you not only will lose your money but also your friend. William Shakespeare said" Neither a borrower nor a lender be; for loan often loses both itself and friend." It would be better to donate to charity than to lend to friends. The most common problem we encounter is that borrower is rich but likes to impose people. They usually use friendship to achieve their goal. I’ll remind you a rich person is the one who dare to reject on time. Lots of person in the world not sure what is theirs and what is yours. Don’t let them misunderstanding your kind to be silly. Money and friends does not mix all the time. You have to say no and “It's your turn to pay “in some situation. Before that I will suggest you to stand in front mirror to practice lift up your head to 45 degree and loudly to say “沒有就是沒有”(台語)!

誰有借錢給別人的經驗過?你是那個借錢給人的提款機嗎?你曾經有朋友認為你不借錢給他你就不是他的朋友嗎?如果當時你有兩個選擇，你會選那一個?讓朋友跟你借錢，或是得一場流行性感冒?受訪的800人中，超過3/2的人想得流行性感冒。但當你無法選擇時，你該怎麼辦?事實上,我會建議你找一個新朋友吧!

舉例來說，「你可以借我100元嗎?我保證我明天一定還你錢」你有沒有出門永遠沒帶錢，老是要你先幫他付錢，事後卻永遠忘了還你錢的朋友?朋友說好跟你平均分攤，卻點了一個貴死人的餐點，又一點都沒有想加錢的意思。朋友向你借物品，歸還時已經破損卻沒有賠錢的意思。朋友沒錢還你，卻有錢買新車。而當他們沒錢時，便想到向你借錢，卻一點也不想改變自己奢侈的花費習慣。你借給別人一筆錢，別人卻當做這是贈款不是借款，一點都沒有想還的意思。這樣的問題在我們的生活當中是普遍的，避免發生衝突的你是否讓問題越來越大?關心自己的錢並沒有錯，假裝不關心金錢才是不對，尤其是牽涉到別人的錢時。是時候把話說清楚，劃清界線了。

(一個半生不熟的人，就是你對他的認識程度好到可以跟他借錢，但是還不到可以把錢借給他)。朋友向你錢時，借還是不借，以下有幾個很棒的規則來評估：

1.借錢的人需要這筆錢的情形有多緊急?不只參考她們的想法，也要從你的角度來評估。在沒有別人的幫助下，借錢的人為什麼沒有辦法買她們想要的東西?

2.你跟這個借錢的人有多近?(有能力借東西給別人的人是幸運的，也是勇氣十足的)(你對愛情有多浪漫都無所謂，但浪漫絕對不是用在處理金錢問題上)(如果要借錢就要跟悲觀的人借，因為他們不會期待你還錢)

3.這個人過去曾經幫助過你嗎?

4.你有多在乎這個人拿這筆錢的用途?

5.借款的額度大小

6.借款被歸還的可能性

7.如果這筆錢沒有歸還給你，或是延誤還款時間，對你的財務望況有無影響?

8.如果你回答不借，他們還有什麼替代方案?

雖然道德感讓我們覺得有責任幫助朋友、家人，但並沒有要求我們不管誰來借錢或東西，每一次都要答應。相反的，如果有下列的情況，說「不」才是合理的答案：

1.你沒錢可借

2.跟你借錢的人缺錢的真正原因是他愛揮霍

3.有很合理的理由或機率，這個人可能不會還你錢，但你的財務狀況沒有岸法讓你把這起借款當成禮物送人

4.這筆錢的用途，你不感興趣ex：你不贊成對方拿這筆錢要去做的事情

如果你今天真的要借錢給朋友，記得白紙黑字永遠比承諾有效。沒有人的記憶力是完全正確無誤的，尤其借方的記憶力通常比貸方來的差。當雙方有誤解時，兩人之間的有一就要面臨考驗了。

而當你今天要借物品給別人時，你必須：

1.如果某人跟你借了昂貴的物品，確定這個人知道物品的價值

2.如果某人總是粗心大意，當他要跟你借一些特別昂貴的東西時，拒絕他

3.如果某人借的東西是你絕對不願意失去的，那就不要借他

4.人向你借的東西在他的償還能力之上，不要借他，除非你已做好準備能在東西遺失或損壞時，安慰這個借用人」「沒關係，不要放在心上」

朋友向你借錢時，總會承諾很多事情，但那也僅限於你借錢給他之前。一旦錢到手，你不只會失去你的錢，你的朋友也跟著失蹤了。沙士比亞曾經說過「無論是借款人或借貸人，你都會失去錢和友誼」。我們最常遇到的問題是，借錢的人不是沒錢，只是純粹想佔便宜。這些厚臉皮的事，我們稱之為「利用友情佔便宜」。我會提醒你，富人之所以會成為富人在於他們敢適時的說不。如果對於事後他欠錢不還或是弄壞你東西的憤怒，凌駕於你不借給他時他的生氣你的悔恨還高時，他的生氣就一點都不重要了。這世界上很多人搞不清楚什麼是他的所有物，或者也不在乎那些是你的所有物。不要讓自己樂於助人的慷慨被別人解讀為屈服，金錢和友情永遠都不要混為一談。人要學會說「不」，如果情況必要時，你也要學會問：「這次是不是該你付賬了呢?」在此之前，我建議大家可以在家裡先面對鏡子，養角45度大聲的練習(沒有就是沒有)台語